Present and Future Focus

 Have you ever shared some deep issues or thoughts with someone only to have them trivialize them and/or bombard you with a few oral pages of advice?  You found they'd not really been listening to the inner you.  And they patted you on the back and told you it's really not that bad.  Then they went on their way self-righteously feeling they had done what they could to help and you should be gratefully A-Okay now.

Many of us may hestitate to do much sharing and looking in the proverbial haystack for that needle in form of that empathetic and compassionate friend's listening ear because of encountering the 'faulty counselor'.  This sounds like a legitimate reason to withdraw from everyone.

Don't go there.  I believe there are sincere, genuine friends who could and do help us in times of need.  Someone to just sit quietly beside us, like Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet when Winnie was down, Piglet just sat there, keeping him company.  They didn't even need to talk.  But if we do seek counsel from such a friend, ask the Lord for wisdom and to direct you to that compassionate ear and heart.  

If the shoe is on the other foot, and that someone is you, think of what Jesus did for that woman caught in adultery whom solicitous, self-righteous people brought before Him.  Harold J. Sala, in his book Counseling Friends in Need, shared that Jesus didn't bring up a litany of the woman's past deeds nor ramble on with advice.  No, He focused instead on the present and in essence He was indirectly speaking to those accusers.  He asked, 

"Where are your accusers?"

They'd all dispersed because they knew they were not righteous.  Jesus also addressed the womann's future, He told her, 

"Go and sin no more" (see John 8:1-11).  

So the focus was on the present and future when He was confronted with sin.

We have tendancies to give all kinds of our own life examples and even throw Bible verses at a hurting person.  I am learning it's better to take a step back, pray and ask the Lord what, if anything, should be said.  A good guide is what Jesus did in the above example - think present and future.  Also there's a saying, 

"Less is more," 

so an economy of words could be the best layman councel for counseling.

Need I say more?

                                                   ~ ERC June 2024 ~

Based on Chapter 2 - Getting Started - From the book Counseling Friends in Need by Harold J. Sala.

Sing, 10,000 Reasons, along with Matt Redman.