Phones aren't what they used to be ...Growing up, my parents had a rectangular unit that hung on the wall. It had a long, curly cord that attached itself to the phone and to the handset. When anyone wanted to make a call, they'd lift that handset and listen for something called, "dial tone."
If you heard that then you could begin to dial the number. On the middle of the wall unit was a dial that had finger-sized round holes. There were 10 holes and the numbers began at the top with #1, of course, and circled around in a counter-clockwise arc. Each of the holes had their own number, from 1-9 and the tenth hole was a zero.
You'd start the progress of ringing up the usually, seven digit number, by placing your index finger in the relevant hole and circling it up clockwise, until it came to a stop. You'd let go, and the dial would rotate back to the resting position. You'd do that for each subsequent number of the phone number.
Then you'd wait for the ringing sound to tell you you'd completed the dialing and it went through to the other side. You just had to wait for the person on the other end to answer and pick up their handset and say, "Hello." Then you'd talk.
If it was a good friend, you could talk for hours. You'd sit, you'd strut and drift around your kitchen or dining room or whereever the phone was hung, tethered to the length allowed by that curly cord. Sometimes, as you talked, you'd curl your fingers in and around that cord, or you'd see how far you could reach and still be connected and so on.
Well, that's a thing of the past. Now we have 'mobile' phones. The tether is the reach of the internet signals. That can be quite far from your homebase kitchen for sure.
Whether you call them mobile phones, or handphones, or cell phones, there are concerns we need to inform ourselves and our children and grandchildren about. Some of these may be similar to the past, like scam calls, prank calls, or dirty men calls and the like.
Some of those 'old fashioned phones' phone calls could be amusing. Like if there was someone else out there who coincidentally had the same name as you and you'd look up in the phone book that listed the cities' residents phone numbers, and you could see several names just like yours.
It was like that for my Dad. It was an unusual surname so it came as a surprize when we started getting calls looking for the other one of the same name.
My Dad was a straightlaced, fundamental preacher man. The other man of the same name was a band drummer. It got so that if the caller was looking for T___ R___, and we didn't recognize the voice, we'd ask, "Are you looking for T___ R___ the preacher or T___ R___ the drummer?
That could be fun but nowadays the phone concerns run deeper, I believe. Well, I've recently been more informed as I was supposed to give a talk about this and I'd never really sat down and coalesced the good, bad and indifferent about handphones (the term I'll use) and how their usage today is quite over the top.
(Ironically, I just came across a blog entry I wrote on the topic back in 2018 for Mother's Day. Some of the info is similar but I see but there is a slightly different angle here.)
So we can do a mini-survey. Of the children you know, how many of them have handphones? How long do they spend on them? Is it easy to get them to stop playing with them? Are their phones beside them when they do their homework and/or study for tests and exams?
Perhaps you can think of further questions like: what are they watching or engaging in, who are they interacting with and so on?
If we love our children we will teach them to have good study habits, and self-controlled usage of those handphones. Of course, we need to set the good example ourselves. We must insist on it.
I recall something Charlie Kirk has said, which I learned from one of his videos. He said that one day a week he tucks his phone away and doesn't touch it (unless there 's a very urgent matter). He took a break from it and gave 100% attention to his wife and children.
Additionally, he said that he used a hard copy of the Bible while doing his devotions. A pinging phone was a distraction, therefore he eliminated that problem by putting the phone aside and using an actual Bible book that he'd hold in his hands instead.
These are good practices we could adopt if we are willing. Good and better habits will take time ot inculcate but
"slow but sure wins the race"
as the saying goes.
Teaching our children our findings in this is a good step forward in teaching them better phone habits. Learning to read, write, do math and science are very important to life knowledge. Consant bad-habit phone use will not allow that to happen very readily if at all.
So as mothers, fathers, grandparents or guardians, we will have to sacrifice our own time and effort to lead the way. Yes, we do, as parents, need time to relax but we can't afford to over extend the time.
Our chidlren are only young once and we cannot waste the time or opportunities to teach them the way they should go. We need to be diligent and hardworking.
We need to sit beside our children as they do their homework, even if we don't understand it all. They need to get the vibe that we care; even if they don't really appreciate us breathing down their necks at the time.
I know of a mother whose children went to the Chinese medium school. They had to learn to read and write Chinese and the local national language. That mother only knew one language and it wasn't either one of the above mentioned ones. She could only helplessly stand by.
Eventually she did find ways to engage and help. She sat and endured and did what she could, making as sure as possible that they got the work done. Only then could they go out and play.
That took a lot of time and patience in the daily grind of school and homework. Yet in this way she could teach by action, discipline and self-control.
Of course, all this was mostly in the pre-dawn years of the explosion of hand phones. Yet the principles can still be put into action, with parental determination and God-given authority taken hold of and executed. These are things we can teach our children and grandchildren and that as we learn these lessons, they make Jesus happy.
There are some good and not so good points about handphones. Some of the good are that education information is easily available. The student can research school topics using the phone as a tool but not for extended gametime. Our children do need relax time so a scheduled, limited time frame to play approved games, or chat with friends, can be allowed yet firmly stated and enforced.
Yes, parents do need to be "the bad guy" at times. Be that steadfast parent. Remember, parenting isn't for sissies.
When children are well taught like this, they will hopefully also learn obedience as well as self-control.
Watching what our offspring watch or play should be monitored. There are bad things about phone usage.
It can be as addictive as drugs. There's lots of bad stuff available and easily accessed at our fingertips, just a click away. If the children are not monitored, they could get into trouble.
Even the better stuff available, if watched in unlimited supply can alter the child's brain development and end up with learning difficulties akin to autism and the like. There will be other difficulties too.
If they are unable to learn well, especially in foundational years of life, then good jobs will be out of their league. They won't learn how to interact with others if there heads are continually bent over their phones, oblivious to all else.
There will be sleep disoders, eye problems, difficulties in carrying conversations with other people and realationships will not be good with parents and friends .
I listened to one sister report and show images of a person's brain that showed marked alteration of the brain mass, or perhaps it just hadn't properly developed in the first place (technical terms may not be correct here but hopefully you get the idea).
As mothers, fathers and even grandparents, let's proactively ...
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6 ESV).
In this way we will be able to build that needful relationship with our children. We need to remove the phones from our hands and theirs, and look our children lovingly in the eyes. We need to communicate intentionally with them.
They need to learn to pay attetnion and to respect each other when someone is talking with them. Otherwise, the people or games or illicit content on the other end of the phone will teach them things they should not learn. Generally speaking, good things will potentially not happen.
Verbal commumnication will be a huge challenge. One can see it even in coffee shops where the babysitter and childminder is the phone. I am pleased to report though that lately I've seen, on more than one occasion, at a table in restaurants where the children were actually putting Lego-like toys together whilst they were waiting for their food. Some of the parents actually interacted with their children while the process was ongoing.
That has a positive feel to it but if the other scenario is not addressed sooner in the children, it could well lead to mental and emotional problems. This would be very sad and tragic. I would not want this to happen to any of my children or grandchildren.
Would you?
It's your call ...
Don't let your phone ring in vain.
~ ERC June 2026 ~
Based on Proverbs 22:6 ESV.
Adapted from a sharing, Part 2 of Loving Mothers.
Sing, We Teach Your Children along with Anointed Family and Train Up a Child, along with Kingdom Kids Arena.
For further issues: The Children Are Watching.
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