"You can cry. You can scream, but you can't give up."
Saw that adage on a friend's facebook post.
Then this morning (15 April 2020) I read Psalm 15 and when I hit verse 4, I wanted to scream and some more. The second part of the verse exhorts,
"...who keeps an oath even when it hurts..." (NIV)
That is one aspect that characterizes a person whose,
"...walk is blameless" (Psalm 15:2 NIV)
Relationships, especially marital ones, will surely test your meddle and especially that wedding oath!
Many a time there will be other sorts of oaths uttered when the wedding oath is stretched beyond endurance.
Have you ever observed married couples looking placid and please with each other in public, only to find out they're paddling like mad "under the water" like a duck, in private?
It can be taxing for sure.
Yet do you really mean those wedding vows said in the pathos of passion on nuptial day?
Maybe you've lost the passion due to abuse: physical and/or emotional, or had the devastation upon learning your spouse has been unfaithful. I have nothing to say on that latter one, when we talk about not giving up.
Forgiveness seems like a bad joke.
You've been slapped in the face with betrayal and someone tells you to forgive?! I cannot begin think of what to say to such a person wounded in such a manner.
"Forgive!"
"Don't give up!"
Those likely sound like mockery to someone who has kept their side of the oath.
I'd highly respect the person who could humbly forgive though. Who could continue in that marital alliance if the betrayer had mended his/her ways. There is such a thing as repentance; one cannot rule that out of the equation. It may take years to rebuild trust. There may be slips. Can the faithful one stand up under that?
Yet marriages do break up. Sad, but true. Perhaps the injured party has forgiven and kept as steady as possible, clinging onto Christ their Savior who will never leave them nor forsake them.
Years and years go by and they have not given up on Jesus. Likely they've cried buckets and screamed a lot. Nevertheless Jesus has gentled them and been their Savior and Comforter in more than one way. They have been blameless in God's sight. They have been shaken but not beyond the nth degree shake.
The effects of physical abuse can often be seen. The emotional toll and abuse effects unseen indirectly but eventually may be seen directly in the person's health or manners or actions. Perhaps the person becomes cowed; made to feel like nothing more than a piece of dirt, kicked and shoved around by someone who supposedly, loves them!?
Wouldn't you want to give up?!
If he/she is a person who believes in keeping a promise, they'd be hard put to keep the wedding one. People stay in such relationships, for a variety of reasons. If, however, the person's and/or their children's lives are in danger, getting away is not equal to giving up. Protect yourself.
Emotional and verbal abuse are silent killers of ardor and any decent relationship. When a spouse is "hacked at", constantly spoken to in harsh manner or as if one is a child, but is supposedly the equal in a relationship, well, wouldn't there be crying and screaming and a giant wanting to "give up"? I should think there would be.
If you were constantly bombarded with negative speak, spoken to in a "more superior than thou" attitude, how would you feel?
Would you feel like "forgiving"?
Would you feel like "never giving up"?
Who can abide such rot?
Yet, those of us who belong to Jesus Christ are asked to forgive. What did Jesus tell the disciples...til 70 x 7? !
Have you used up all the forgiveness credits yet?
But who's counting?
What would Jesus do? Wow!? Another psychological punt.
Guilt trip.
Which way can we turn? Let the Holy Spirit minister to your poor torn hearts, souls, minds. Seriously, we who belong to Christ do know what we should do.
If we do not let ourselves become irreparably shaken we will hang on to Jesus for dear life. Let Him renew our minds, souls, and hearts. Know that HE LOVES US to the core. Let His presence surround you, envelop you. You are of great worth to Him. Tell Him your troubles. Ask Him how to overcome. Honor and fear the LORD. He may not get you out of your personal predicament and persecution but He's there beside you, helping you to overcome your anger, your helplessness and to strive to keep your oath, like it or not.
He will cast no slur on you. He does not despise you. He keeps His oath to you. He'll speak truth to your heart. He is the faithful, righteous, blameless One.
Think on that!
It will help a body to "keep on, keeping on."
"Oh Father God, so many hearts are downcast, sore, feeling unloved, unwanted by the spouse who is supposed to be the one to love, honor and cherish them until death do them part. Yes, many have been betrayed in their marriage relationships, even so-called, Christian ones, that are supposed to be examples of Your Son Christ and the Church!
This only goes to show, dear Father, that we must fix our total faith, hope and trust in You. We change, You never do. You never fail. Thank-You for that!
You are the same yesterday and today and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8).
Father, I pray for those whose marriages have been broken and are beyond repair. Only You could fix them but we know that many are not. Comfort the one who has been injured to their foundations. May they make their hope in You.
May we trust and cling to You so we will not be shaken beyond capacity while trying to keep our oaths even when it hurts.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
~ERC May 2020~
(originally prayed 15 April 2020)
Based on Psalm 15 esp verse 4
"...who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind..."
Sing, Yesterday, Today, Forever, Jesus is the Same
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