Friends who speak on the two-way street in companionable conversation yet are good listeners are ideal friends. Those who speak kindly and gently, honestly but without harshness, using diplomacy are golden. Those who accept us as we are but are unafraid to admonish when necessary in loving exhortation are to be much desired.
Even though they say blood is thicker than water, there are times we may turn to our friends, instead of our family or relatives for help and seek advice. Perhaps the issue is something that only one's generational peer group encounter so they are more likely to know how to advise us.
Don't discount the wisdom of our elders who have years on us, though. They may not understand our situation very much but they do have the experience of a lifetime under their belts and speak general principles. Overall, we need to seek our Heavenly Father and go to His Word to help show us the way. After all, we sing "My best friend is Jesus, He loves you, He loves me..." Be ever dependant upon this omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent Friend!
After Job of the Old Testament had lost all his possessions, his children and his health, he sat in misery and mourning. Along came three so-called friends to "comfort" him. At least they had the decency to sit in silence beside him for a week. Then, all verbal havoc broke loose! Words! Too many of them filled the social space, jabbing Job like many pokes of a javelin.
Truly, Proverbs 25:20 (NIV) comes to mind,
"Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."
Judas Iscariot's kiss was one of betrayal, which I want to relate to gossip. The second part of the verse about wounds of a friend being trustworthy is,
"but an enemy multiplies kisses" (Proverbs 27:6).
You know that saying, "With friends like these, who needs enemies..." well, if we are spreading gossip, no matter the level of elemental truth there may be, we are acting as an enemy not a friend. If we keep repeating a matter" (Proverbs 17:9) we are stirring up trouble and we could very well separate ourselves from a close friend.
I'm into sayings and quotes here, look at this one which seems to clinch the thought,
"Speak to a friend and not about a friend" [emphasis mine]
It's good to remember the three guidelines if you really feel you need advice from another, regarding your friend. Are you asking in a kind way, is what you say true and necessary? These can also be guidelines when speaking to a friend whom you think needs some admonishing. Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? Don't lose your firend. Be a true friend.
Think of this next verse from Proverbs 27:17 (NIV),
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Tactfulness...
Kindness...
Gentleness...
...as we sharpen each other to be the best we can be for the Lord and in a greater bond of friendship. As we encourage one another, comfort one another, rebuke or admonish one another we can strengthen one another.
So be it.
This can spill over into the greater community too, known as the assembly of believers; our brothers and sisters-in-Christ. When we use our gifts, talents and skills in a group, with prayer and leading from God's word and the Holy Spirit, we can help each other to be built up in our most holy faith, reaching towards maturity, not just in the physical sense but also in the spiritual, in Christ, sense. We each need to be willing to accept and to give, to genuinely care for, support, and encourage, one another with courage.
When iron sharpens iron, realize both are hard surfaces but as we sharpen each other we rub off rough edges and then create smoother razor sharp edges. Life creates the roughness but our iron friends can help make us be and look sharp.
Different friends will round out and sharpen one in different areas so we do need to cultivate more than one good friend. Jesus chose 12 disciples. Three of those: Peter, James and John, became inner circle. His very best friend (BFF 😀) seemed to be John. So it appears there are 'levels' of friendship as we also saw in Job's life.
Job did bridge the breached friendship gap in the end and prayed for and offered up sacrifices on his three friends' behalf. If we value a friendship we many have to be very forgiving and do what it takes to restore the friendship and fellowship. Who knows, both parties may become sharper than ever before.
I can think of several friends who round me out and in different ways. It would be good for everyone to do this: think of your friends, how do they each sharpen you? How do you sharpen them? Have you thanked them for their positive influence in your life? Are there any breaches you need to bridge? Ask the Lord's wisdom how to go about that. Pray!
Alisair Begg has some great advice,
"We mustn't say more than we should, but we mustn't say less than we must."
Knowing our friends have our backs and standby to support in good and bad times doing and saying whatever is needed for our best and betterment, doing so in kindness and gentleness, are friends to keep! It's what sincere friends are for.
Jesus calls us all His friends but He's the Best Friend to have who will never leave us nor forsake us. Any 'wounds' He makes in us can certainly be trusted. My Best Friend is Jesus. I hope He's yours too.
~ERC February 2022~
Sing, The Best Friend to Have is Jesus, along with Durham Filipina.
No comments:
Post a Comment