Separation From One's Spouse

 

Among Christians, confusion often abounds regarding divorce and separation.  When circumstances become unfavorable and in the angst of the situation, guilt may take over because of all the wobbly, uncertain teaching.  Regarding separtation, look at these verses...

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):  A wife must not separate from her husband.  But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.  And a husband must not divorce his wife" ( 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 -[emphasis mine]).

At first glance it appears separation from ones spouse is NOT an option.  However, there is conditional allowance.  The wife, if she separates, must remain unmarried.  The husband must not divorce his wife.

True enough, it is not ideal to be separated from one's spouse.  God is not in favor of it.  However, because of the conditional allowance, it can be considered as an option.

I'm thinking - what are the scenarios in which a wife would wish to separate from her husband?

How about severe emotinal abuse, manipulation and lies so much so that the spirit of the wife is so damaged and altered?  These are wounds and bruises which are not visible to the eye but are every bit as damaging as physical abuse.

Whether it is from an alcoholic husband, a womanizer, a simply ill-tempered man, you name it, the wife may feel safety in separation for herself and any children there may be.  No doubt the reverse could be true where the husband needed to seek separation but likely it is mostly the wife and children who are the ones in harm's way.

For the Christian wife to consider and activate separation she should keep the conditions in mind.  This is a serious chain of events and other believers would do well to authentically and compassionately care for and support such a decision and beware the manipulating spouse.  Pray with her for the time of reconciliation to take place; if indeed it could ever be possible.  LISTEN to her heart cry.

Divorce is not supposed to be in the equation for this type of situation.  We do know from the other Scriptures that God hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16) but He did allow it due to the hardness of mens' hearts (see Mark 10:1-5 NIV).

Let other brothers and sisters-in-Christ view each situation with love, care and compassion.  You may not know or understand to full extent of what a wife endures, often for years and years on end.

Father God, we are fully aware that You hate divorce and that what you join together, man should not put asunder.  Yet because of the hardness of mans' hearts to get themselves right with You, harmful situations happen.  Such situations, which cause a wife to separate from her husband. 

Protect these women and give them the courage they need to step aside for a time of separation.  Help them, especially if there are children who also need Your protection.  Help these wives through it all and to remain celebate despite need for comfort and consolation.  May these wives turn to You for direction and rest from their anxiety, pain and consternation of the detrimental situation.  Alleviate any feelings of guilt they may have in seeking safety away from their spouse.

May there be compassionate friends and family to reach out in love and care.  Bring about reconciliation and a mended heart when the time is right and the believer husband has repented and can be truly trusted to behave correctly, as Christ with the Church.

This I ask in Jesus' name.

                                                   ~ERC  November 2023~

Based on 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NIV.

Sing, My Prayer For You, along with Alisa Turner - Integrity Music.