She looked out the window. She couldn't see much. It was night time. Darkness, the mantle that shrouded the world beyond the glass panes. It reflected her inner turmoil and terror.
Something startled her and she stepped further back into the darkened room. No lights would gleam from her side of the window. NO! She could still see the square of outside inky night, hoping against hope nothing and no one could see her.
The only break in darkness was when the clouds parted back their curtains and let the moon light caress the elongated icicles hanging from the eaves. It was as if the moon was trying to encourage and soothe her numbness with small glimmers of light, creating sparkles like newly fashioned diamonds of hope and love.
She gasped, "Possible?!" She doubted it but it did make her feel the teeniest bit, less afraid.
How had she gotten into this room anyway? She was locked in. She knew that because she'd tried the door handle. It wouldn't budge. Just her luck!
She must have fainted, and fallen, hitting her head when she had run from Festus, his henchmen and hound dogs hot on her trail. She had already been weak and dizzy at the outset with the starvation diet he'd had her on. "Too fat and too stupid," he'd bellowed at her, slapping her for good measure. She remembered that and the palpable dread, so why couldn't she remember her name or what happened and why she was now imprisoned in this place?
Festus' men must have found her and brought her to this other place but then why the water, bread and cheese on offer? He wouldn't be kind like that. That was another strange thing, she could recall his name, but not her own.
Maybe she wasn't a name. She was a nothing, only chattal to be shoved and ordered about. So much for being a cherished wife! Ha, details coming back. Not ones she really cared to recall. Darkness of her memories, of her spirit - how symbolic- mirrored by dark night.
Tiptoeing back to the bed, she lay down. The positioning let her face the window, where she again looked out. Dark silhouettes of tree branches bounced and bobbed in the wind matching her pounding scared, exhausting thoughts.
She lay there contemplating the darkness inside and outside of the window. Was the window her friend? She didn't think so. It would betray her the moment any filter of light pierced the darkness. The darkness could possibly befriend her. That was it...darkness = friend. "Focus on that," she commanded herself. "Love the darkness that hides and silences my presence."
Speaking of silence, it was suddenly shattered as if a plate had crashed to the floor. She bolted from bed, standing, quivering in fear. She glanced out the window, then she felt herself fall. She fell bounce-landing on something, and lay still, not moving a muscle; stilling her desire to scream with strict self-commands. She surprized herself that she still had a reserve of gumption. For a 'nobody' of no name, that was something.
Shoutings and poundings and scufflings of someone looking viciously under, behind and in things. She heard Festus' voice raging. Cold fear instensified in her veins like zaps of a zillion lightning strikes. He did not call her name except by some irrepeatable slur.
Keep silent. Silence was her weapon. Darkness of voice and movement. The thought went through her mind, "Someone is protecting me. Helping me."
"Who?"
"Why?"
Someone with wisdom. Someone who'd been looking out the window when she was on the other side struggling in the snow and ice. Some who saw. Someone who had light. Maybe that someone even knew her name. She relaxed minutely, and regulated her breathing, continuing to keep as still as a church mouse.
The thing she'd bounced on seemed like a trampoline. It must have been purposely positioned under a trap door, the switch of which must have been operated by the unknown benefactor. She hoped he or she would not be harmed.
The sounds above subsided and eventually all became deathly silent. She dared to open her eyes but she may as well have kept them shut. It was pitch dark in this place; darkness that could be felt, like being down a mine shaft with the lights switched off. Like what her Papa had done when he had taken her once to his mine but that was so very long ago it almost seemed like a dream now. Panicked bile began to rise up into her mouth. "Keep calm," she whispered to herself in her mind.
"Is this how it would all end," she wondered? The "me" with no name, in an undisclosed place, who was a 'nothing'? Well, through the Festus' window of dubious prophecy, he constantly told me I'd come to nothing's nothing.
She remembered then, the mini-moon strokes dancing on the icicles outside the window. Did that spell 'hope'? Her mom used to say, "While there's life, there's hope. Think on that,' she encouraged herself again. "A window of hope and glimmerings of life."
That would mean she could not go back to Festus. He'd surely kill her, a slow torture to the death. She wouldn't divorce him though as she didn't believe in it. "Until death do us part" she'd chirruped naively in the days before she'd found out Festus' true character. Death, indeed, but not by natural means.
What could she do if she did get a window of escape? Run and hide, yes, but where and how? Festus was like an octopus with far-reaching tentacles, subtly camouflaging himself, ingratiating himself on the unsuspecting as if he were a decent sort of chap. She'd have to think of something. Oh, wait, what was that they called it when you could get a new name, identity and address -- oh, witness protection. Of course, I'd have to do it for myself as I can't rely on the authorities. Thinking these embronic, new-life thoughts, she slowly drifted off to sleep.
What must have been hours later, she sensed a change in the dark eerieness which woke her. She opened her eyes. She was still on the trampoline thing. She looked up from whence she'd fallen and saw an outline of what looked like a latticed window, above her. The outline was slowly illuminating more brightly. A soft voice spoke.
"You are neither in Heaven, nor in Hell, nor in limbo, for that matter. You are still alive on earth, but safe with me. I know of your hardships and abuse suffered. Allow me to take you away. Live with and work for me until you get on your feet."
She didn't know whether to be scared or happy but the offer did seem to be an immediate solution. She didn't know to whom the voice belonged nor what the work would be but the person sounded genuine. Should she go for it? There had been kindness and protection. Guess it couldn't be worse than she'd already experienced in her short two decades of life. She'd go for it.
"Ok," she whispered back.
The voice spoke again, "Alright, I will only get you out of there at dawn when Festus will be drunkenly asleep. Will take you through the tunnel and whisk you away."
Quiet again. She wasn't sure how long a wait 'til dawn but she tentatively sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Interesting turn of life just around the corner. A new window of opportunity awaited this woman of 'no name.' She will have to find a new one as the light frightened away the darkness, and the shades beyond the dark window, lightened.
At least she hoped that would be so.
~ERC October 2021~
This is the first episode in the Elaine series of short stories. Its sequel is, Returning.
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