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| Blue Topaz |
Part 7
Sapphire dropped her off at home and Ruth E hurried up the steps and let herself into her parents' home. She could hear her Mother preparing dinner in the kitchen and went straight in, "Mom, oh Mom!" She didn't have to say more, her mother had already heard. "Dad is on his way home from work. He should be here any minute."
"I don't know how we can eat," Ruth E cried. "Sapphire and I were just going to visit him when we heard the Code Blue and saw them all rushing into his room."
Blue Jemmy gave Ruth E a hug and dropped a few of her own tears on Ruth E's shoulder. "Death never gets easier to handle, more so when its one's own loved one. But Grampy lived out a good righteous life and he'll have heard "Well done, good and faithful servant!" the second he arrived on heaven's doorstep. We honor him by continuing to carry his torch."
"Yes, M-m-mom" Ruth E stuttered out between sobs. "I'll go and freshen up upstairs and come and help you."
Roy L IV and his very round wife Blue Diamond (her real name was Diana but as you may have guessed, marriage to a Blue changed that and mostly she was called Blue Di) struggled up the steps into the house with Navy a couple of marches behind. She'd have to hurry down. This was their usual "all-get-together-dinner" night. Again, Ruth E wondered how they would eat.
Ruth E's Dad had come home while she was upstairs so she rushed down to greet him and give a hug of comfort; this was his Dad who'd gone on. Her Dad returned the hug and sat at the table.
Ruth E and her Mom quickly put the finishing touches on their meal and called the others in. Dad gave a tremulous grace thanking God for the already "extended life" of his Dad and for his faithfulness to one and all, especially to his Heavenly Father.
The guys dug into their food as only guys can while Ruth picked at her plate. She listened as her Dad explained some of the rudimentary details of the coming funeral. They would have it on Saturday coming so most of the Blues from far and wide could also be in attendance. She realized she could then go about her deputation work this week albeit with a saddened heart. She'd travel back Saturday morning in time for the 2 pm service; she was thankful she'd set up the nearer-to-home supporters' meetings for these few days.
So with her preparations for her work and thoughts of her Grampy Blue, she'd completely forgotten about Shem's note, that, at first, had been burning a hole in her handbag.
Part 8
It wasn't until the Monday after the funeral when she was getting ready to set out to visit her next group of supporters that she recalled the note. She hurriedly pawed through her bag and located it. She retrieved it and read. Oh so he wished to meet at their old trysting place did he!? NOT! He has something to say does he?! Well, she'd meet him but at the public place of her choosing.
No wonder he'd given her an inquiring look at the funeral. That was supposed to have been last Thursday. Too bad. Now he'll have to wait for 1 1/2 months. She looked at the number he'd given and dialed in on her home phone. Oops, he must be working. She waited for the beep tone and stated her message, "Shem, this is Ruth E, with all the deputation work and the funeral I forgot all about your note til now. So Sorry. I'll be back in 40 days; we can meet at the library at 6 pm on Thursday, 15 next month if you wish. See you then. Bye."
There, that's that. She collected herself and her things and set out in one of her Uncle Garnet and Aunt Violet Blue's many vehicles. She was humming along in her acquired, adopted language; a song of joy and commitment to God, her ever loving, faithful Heavenly Father who never left nor forsook her.
She loved these road trips even though they were at great distances. Sometimes her mother or Sapphire would accompany her but this round was to be a solo journey. That suited her just fine. She could think her own thoughts, ponder, pray, sing aloud and as loud as she wished. It was tiring, exhausting work but she really appreciated the financial support and prayer coverage of all God's people who were her "senders" and despite the obligation to do so, she usually got much pleasure out of meeting everyone again.
Much of her joy stemmed, she realized, from talking about her 'adopted' people and island life. She wondered how they were all doing there. She hadn't heard in several days. Hopefully her substitute was working out well too; that is never easy especially when one doesn't know the language well. But the language of God's love could cover a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), so to speak, she figured. And so her thoughts swirled in tangents.
Merrily she rolled along, renewing acquaintances in groups, in churches, in individuals' homes. Ruth E comprehended she'd have to canvas for extra support. One of her most staunch supporters had passed away. He'd given almost fifty percent of what she needed for so many years. Alas, his family was not keen on her and felt their Dad was having his money squandered. That hurt. But Ruth E knew that God owned the cattle on the thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) and had wealth in every land. He could sell some of those cattle and help her out. She trusted Him.
If things got really bad she could process the sago; she'd had some of the native women show her how to do that. In fact, that's how many Borneo folks survived during WWII during the Japanese occupation. If they could do it, so could she. She'd rather not though if she could help it as that would mean time away from her intended duties.
She recalled how the children of Israel were supposed to give a tenth of tithes and offerings, some to be burned as sacrifice to God and some to be kept by Aaron and sons and subsequent priests and Levites who were doing the hands-on work of God. This is the story she planned on speaking of at her next stop to help glean some of that 50% deficit back.
She'd expound on what happened to the Levites when Israel rescinded on the giving of those tithes and offerings. God's work could not progress well and even the temple in the promised land had eventually gone into disrepair and the priest and Levites into fields to grow their own food. May God have mercy on the souls of those who are supposed to be senders but who didn't send when they were able to.
Maybe she should only say that last phrase to God.
She'd have to watch it or she'd end up unforgiving and bitter about those things too. And she didn't want to slander anyone either about stinginess or anything. She was not being mercenary but factual. Other missionaries faced similar financial shortfall.
Ruth E recalled reading what Henry W. Wright said in his book Be In Health, A More Excellent Way*1, about these things. How unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness can cause so much trouble with one's health. A lot of autoimmune diseases, he'd said, were caused by these spiritual roots. Not that all those diseases were caused by such, he emphasized, but a remarkably huge number were.
Well, here she was at her destination and what a jolly-crew welcome it appeared to be.
The days whizzed along as she spent pleasant hours with her supporters and friends of yore and making new ones. Soon she turned her car towards home. It would be good to see her folks again and sleep in her own bed.
She dreaded the meeting at the library though.
Part 9
She couldn't put it off any longer. Ruth E called out to her mother, "Mom I have a appointment at 6 to meet someone. Please save me a small plate of dinner. I'll be back when I can. Love ya!"
"Bye, dear," her mother replied.
Ruth E walked to the library arriving with one minute to spare. Shem was just driving up. He waved, smiled and got out of the car as she reached the library stairs. "It's a nice evening," Ruth E said, "Let's go to the park behind the library and stroll about".
Off they went.
Shem began, "Ruth E, thank-you for meeting me. I appreciate it."
Ruth E acknowledged that with a slight nod of her head. She remained silent, waiting for him to speak. He hesitated but then spoke what was on his mind.
"Ruth E, I'm very sorry for what happened in the past. It wasn't fair to you. And you had to hear about my engagement and marriage to Josie through another person. It should have come from me and I regret not having the courage and manners and respect of you to do so."
She nodded again, acknowledging but keeping her eyes on the path before them; not making eye contact. "Let him talk," she told herself.
"It was a mean, underhanded thing to do and I want to ask your forgiveness. Ruth E, will you please forgive me and my bad behavior towards you?
"I forgave you long ago Shem," Ruth E said. "I keep having to forgive you again and again. But God is helping me to make it stick. Yes, I forgive you."
"Thank-you."
Ruth E let down her guard just a smidgen and softened her expression. "Your daughters are very sweet. They each gave me a hug at Grampy Blue's funeral. You've done a great job of raising them thus far. It couldn't have been easy."
"Thank-you. It's been a major challenge but my Mom has been a huge help since Josie left us." Shem said.
He continued, "Ruth E do you think you could ever forgive me enough to consider giving me another chance?"
Even though Ruth E had kind of expected this, she still gasped and felt a surge of anger. But the Holy Spirit seemed to be telling her something, "Remember your prayer? You asked if I was trying to tell you something. Yes, I was. Listen to what this man is saying."
"Please explain yourself Shem," Ruth E asked.
"I feel I've learned more about life and have become more interested in others and less focused on my own interests. Ruth E, I'd like for us to rekindle our relationship. I'm more mature, now, I'd like to think, and with God's help better behaved. Eventually, I'd like a new mother for my girls", Shem finished somewhat hopefully.
"Shem, there are so many other potential mothers and you think of me?!"
"I have my ministry in Borneo which is very fulfilling and blessed by God. You think I could turn away from all of that to be mother to Hannah and Heather? Like you said, your own mother is a big help."
"Blue Belle," Shem whispered, "Please consider. It is not just for the girls' sake; I feel drawn back to you, for yourself".
Then she did turn and look into Shem's eyes. There she saw sincerity. There she saw longing and loneliness. And, her heart skipped a beat, there she saw love for her."
Ruth E cautiously thought, "perhaps." But didn't say that aloud. Instead, she said, "Shem, I was deeply hurt. I have forgiven you but I really don't know if I can manage what you are asking."
"Test his commitment," the Holy Spirit seemed to be prodding. "I still need to do further deputation work; I have to take some further courses with my sending organization and then I'm set to return to Borneo. I want to carry on with this calling I feel led by God to do. However, I will consent to writing to you if you wish but I cannot guarantee any particular outcome. If within the next two years God guides to bring us together, then I will not get into God's Way."
"Two years!?" Shem felt exasperated but didn't show it. He meekly and weakly said, "That's a long time."
In a way, Ruth E felt a bit mean, yet her Holy Spirit guidance was to "test commitment". Two years should do the trick she thought but did inwardly agree with Shem; two years was kind of long.
She also had to admit to herself that her old feelings of fondness were still there and stirring more awake.
~ERC September 2017~
Note:
*1. In regards to the book Be In Health; this is a real resource I have read and Henry W. Wright is really the author. A very good book/manual to read.
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| Blue Topaz |
Part 4
That evening Ruth Elizabeth's Aunt Violet, who was just as Blue as if she'd been born to it, called telling her the whole Blue clan were congregating the next evening at her place for a BBQ. Please bring your parents and siblings and prepare a wee speech to share about the past years in Borneo.
These pleasant-sounding invites were more of a decree-the Blue blood coming to the fore-but attend she would. Despite her rebelling stomach which also was fighting counter-cultural-food shock (she'd have to find some rice soon); she'd go and nibble on lettuce and tomatoes, at least, and try to enjoy the Blue company.
After-all, they were her main fans all along and she didn't mind being ordered to share all the wondrous work God gave her to do and of His great grace and goodness to her throughout all the years thus far.
Besides it was high time she met the newest of nieces and nephews, cousins and second cousins once or twice removed and got reacquainted with the hundred and one others on the Blue family tree. It would be great to see them all again.
And if Aunt Violet's neighbor and two children were there too, which mostly likely they would; she'd just have to play it by ear. Maybe she really should pick up knitting like Great-granny Blue. It would help keep her from fidgeting.
Their arrival at Aunt Violet's the following evening was announced with Ruth E's grinning younger brother Chadwick at the wheel of his suped up old clunker, complete with modified muffler that did everything but muffle. Ruth E's parents, Roy L III and Blue Jemmy, were always somewhat non-plussed by Navy's rig and hastily disembarked and quick-walked into the anonymity of family clan.
Navy's car, if you could call it that, was so, so far away in concept to anything in the jungle metropolis fare that it was a novelty to her. However, in light of her bump-in with Shem she would've preferred a more subdued entrance.
Most of their small town would have forgotten Chadwick's 'real' name as did many of the Blue clan themselves. Since he'd joined the navy X number of years ago, he'd been 're-christened' "Navy Blue" which was a whole lot better than what he'd grown up with, tormented by school bullies who'd dubbed him, "Little Boy Blue". They wouldn't dare tease nowadays.
Navy had assured his sister Ruth E earlier, with his 'Navy' stance; legs in the navy 'at ease' position and arms folded across his chest, giving that "you're not getting past me" body-guard posture saying, "If Shem comes anywhere near you let me know; I'll dispatch him quick as a wink."
Ruth E appreciated her little brother's protectiveness but told Navy; it'll be ok. I'll give you our secret sign if I need to get away.
Navy and Ruth E got out of the car, headed into and through the house and were swallowed up by food and family connections out the other side in the spacious backyard.
Part 5
Blue Jemmy was once upon a time known as Jemimah but once she'd married Roy L Blue III she'd married the name too and had become Blue Jemmy; a very precious 'gemstone' to Roy L III.
Blue Jemmy and Ruth E found themselves taking a turn at the BBQ, enjoying some 'time-out' that Ruth E's Mom knew she needed while she was still adjusting back to western culture and the force of the Blue clan.
Blue Jemmy had stepped away for just a few shakes of a lamb's tail when Ruth E heard a soft whisper brush by her ear that near caused her heart to turn over instead of the hamburger she was mid-flip with. "Blue Belle", said the whisper.
The fragrance of the pet name he used to have for her, which was, incidentally, her cat's name, hovered and swirled alarmingly from Shem's lips. And then he was gone. Off to talk to Navy. Her mother came back, and the tension eased. But the name spoken tenderly, lingered about Ruth E dusting her with she knew not what.
Later, at home, Ruth E attempted to sort out her feelings. Shaking herself sternly, she said "Stop it!!" to her image in the mirror. "If he's looking to get himself a mother for two young girls, and make you second pickings in the wife department, well, where's your dignity?! Forget it!" Yet she still felt some unease and stirring of latent affection for Shem. And she drifted off into unsettled sleep.
Part 6
Come morning, Ruth E felt, "How dare he come waltzing by me with that name!" She shook herself but the surge of anger and unforgiveness surfaced again anyway. However her talk with Great -granny Blue yesterday and God in the forest, helped her keep a short account and turn to God, once again.
In the quiet of her bedroom she whispered to her Heavenly Father, "What is it? Are You trying to tell me something?" She listened but didn't hear any immediate reply.
Today she was going out with her cousin Sapphire for window-shopping (at least on her part) and lunch; Sapphire's treat. This was Ruth E's last 'free' day before having to start her deputation work so she wanted to make the most of her day and not pickle her thoughts on things that would never be.
After that they'd visit Grandpa Blue; that'd be the staid Roy L Blue II. He too, like Great-granny Blue believed in witnessing to his peerage and although stead and stoic, demanded this freedom to anchor in the Oak Villa Assisted Living institution to preach his last string of sermons as he had opportunity.
He loved it there and had been 'reigning' since his "Blue Opal" had the enterprise to "go Home" ahead of him. He was rather tickled to have a captive audience and never missed a chance to speak for Jesus.
And he was gaining "parishioners" slow but sure when he was well. And then he'd conduct "beginners" courses to build his new converts up in their "most holy faith" as their numbered days permitted.
Sapphire and Ruth E always loved to see Grampy Blue in action and would sneak in and spy on him. Sapphire had missed Ruth E in this 'occupation' having to substituted with one of the other cousins or even with Shem's daughters, Hannah and Heather; but Ruth E was always the most fun.
The young ladies shared an uproarious extended lunch; in fact they'd had to be shooed out; the restaurant wanted to close. It did Ruth E's heart good though. Refreshed by Western wit and ready for her task in the upcoming months.
They were entering Oak Villa as "Code Blue" was heard over the intercom. They looked at each other, slowly shaking their heads, "NO!" as teardrops started collecting in their eyes. "No, not their beloved Grampy Blue!" their eyes rebelled. Code Blue could be for anyone.
But it wasn't just for 'anyone'; they rounded the corner in time to see the on-call volunteer doctor and a bevy of nurses and Villa staff converge on Grampy Blue's room with all sorts of medical paraphernalia. They knew Grampy didn't want to be resuscitated but they still hoped he'd live.
They stood quivering outside Grampy's room until a staff member saw them and made them go sit in the staff room. She gently told them, "Stay here; I'll let you know the outcome". She too was spilling tears.
Her name was Thelma, and one of Grampy's recent converts and he'd been working wonders on her; steering her into God and His all encompassing love for her. Her! The one no one had wanted; the one abandoned in a trash can as a baby and lived with abuse from a self-proclaimed "rescue service" of a neighborhood pervert. Somehow or another she'd gotten through school to become a nurse but the wounds and scars of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, and low self-esteem, and of having never been loved, had never been overcome or even been started to be worked on til she came to work in Oak Villa and met Grampy Blue and Jesus.
Ten minutes later Thelma returned and clasped them in a huddle hug as gulps of sobs were uttered and tears streamed down each of their faces. And that is where volunteer Dr. Shem Hutchinson found them twenty minutes later.
Thelma scuttled sorrowfully away to her tasks.
Dr. Shem put his professionalism aside, and added his own shed tears. He then quietly and gently asked the ladies if they wished to have one last glimpse of Grampy before the staff wheeled him away.
He led them to the room and left them to their privacy. As they were leaving, Sapphire slipped into the restroom and Dr. Shem slipped Ruth E a note which she in turn, slipped into her handbag for later perusal.
This she did not want Sapphire to get wind of.
~ERC September 2017~
Note:
Any names of people or place names are fictitious; any coincidence of name or situation is not purposeful; expect for the setting of Borneo, of course. However there is a blending of characters, events and places I've encountered over the years of my life.
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| Blue Topaz |
Preface:
This story was only supposed to be a very short story but somehow or another evolved into something quite the opposite. There are 27 parts. Although this is fictional, there is a blending of characters, events and places I've encountered over the years of my life; people can really 'flavor' our lives wondrously.
I dedicate this story to my dear Mother Leah M. Roach who is the biggest fan of my writings. Mothers are so good and kind, no less, mine. I love you Mom.
Part 1
Ruth Elizabeth was eager to visit her great-grandmother Mrs. Blue. She had found a patch of Queen Anne's Lace and had gathered a bouquet of them. She knew they were her Great-grandmother's favorite. Ruth Elizabeth loved to be in her Great-Grandmother's company and visited as often as possible.
Of all the great-grandchildren, of which there was rather a large tribe, Ruth E (her nickname), was most like her great -grandmother who everyone, who knew and loved her, called, "Mrs. Blue".
Mrs. Blue was only 'blue' because she had married Mr. Blue at the tender age of 18, never looking back. Eighty-one years on of being "Blue" had blossomed her into a sparkling, spunky, lady of fortitude and charisma. She always wondered though why folks never tired with the blue jokes. Oh, the new people in her life just had to ask her "How do you do, feeling a little blue today"?
But she outwitted them with her grand sense of humor and would retort,
"Definitely!"
"I'm feeling as blue as the sky on a sweet summer's day and blue as the diamond-studded ocean on the same summer's day."
Then she'd grin mischievously at the stunned enquirer who never repeated that 'blue' question ever again.
Mrs. Blue resided, rather, subtly presided, in a nursing home. So imagine that a bit. She needed every ounce of humor and wrote about it. Here's a poem she came up with:
What Grandma thinks About Knitting
When folks around you act like those in the zoo,
A grumbling and grunting and spittin'
The best thing to do is be calm as you can,
And do something useful like knittin'.
When a gossiper comes with a poison-lashed tongue
Right in the room where you're sitting'
And starts to defame some good neighbor's name
Count stitches out loud and keep knittin'.
When there's been a misunderstanding at church
And folks talk loudly of quittin'
Just pretend you don't hear a word they say
But keep right on with your knittin'
And when Satan comes in with his cohorts of sin
Say, "You'll never find me submittin'
You irk me I find, so get thee behind
And please don't disturb me-I'm knittin'!"
So in all of life's problems, the great and the small
The thing that's most proper and fittin'
Is to trust and to pray 'til the Lord show the way'
And keep right along with your knittin'.*1
So fortifying herself with knitting, she lived positive notes. Just the same, when Ruth Elizabeth, her "Blue" great-granddaughter arrived, often with little nuances of lift-gifts, she was greatly appreciative.
Today of the Queen Anne's Lace visit was no different. Ruth E had auburn hair where her great-grandmother had abundant white. She would be equally resplendent as her great-grandmother in time to come.
Mrs. Blue's blue eyes dazzled beneath coiffed hair which was groomed up into a saintly bun; nothing much diminished in 99 years of life. She reminded many of Wedgwood China dishes. Exquisite.
Looks weren't everything though which Mrs. Blue well knew and she'd passed on these thoughts with great love to her children, grand-children and now to her great-grandchildren, encompassing Ruth E. And they all reciprocated her love and accepted her wise tidbits of advice.
You may wonder then, with all that love going round in the Blue tribal clan, just why she was in that nursing home. True to form, Mrs. Blue insisted! She was there to be salt and light to those unloved, almost forgotten and lost souls at the last edge of life. She was not going to forfeit this privilege if she could help it.
By extension, when 'her' tribe came to visit, they helped spread the love around and so many of Mrs. Blue's peerage adopted Mrs. Blue's extended family so much so, some times they all forgot who belonged to whom. Mrs. Blue, would sit and rock and knit with a satisfied smile lightening up her visage with the perpetual joy of the Lord.
Mrs. Blue's husband had been named Roy L Blue. His Papa had heard the story from his Papa, and so on, that the original Blue man boasted of blue blood. That Blue believed himself to be one of a plethora of illegitimate sons of some British monarch from the 15 or 1600's. He'd boasted so much of his kingly parentage that folks around started calling him "Blue" and the name stuck. Anyway, Roy L Blue's Papa had an eccentric sense of humor that boiled into his name and ever since, any firstborn son that came along got christened, "Roy L".
Ruth Elizabeth's Dad was Roy L Blue III. Her eldest brother was Roy L Blue IV and set to have Roy L Blue V whom his indulgent wife had yet to deliver.
So you can see, the Blue family were rather jolly folk. But Ruth E, despite her own spark of wit, found it increasingly difficult to cope. She spent extra large quantities of time with her great-grandmother recently partly as healing balm. They understood each other well and didn't usually say much, just sat and 'were'.
Mrs. Blue sensed that was what Ruth E needed again today. Quiet (well as much as one could get in a less than private situation). Mrs. Blue's 'presiding-ness' commanded respect from the other residents of the nursing home so she could create invisible boundaries at a glance. That gave Mrs. Blue and her great-granddaughter space.
Ruth E sat and remembered.
Part 2
Ruth E stifled a despondent sigh as her ponderings brought her back to the other day. She had been in a rush, galloping up the bank steps and barging around the revolving doors, banging smack dab into Shem Hutchinson, of all people, causing his and her documents to scatter helter-skelter about the foyer.
Ruth E gasped upon seeing him "Ah-h. Oh Shem, so sorry!" Their eyes had met for the briefest of seconds: his tender, ringed with friendly compassion; and hers, much to her startled surprise, with daggers of long suppressed hurt and anger.
The anger had sparked years ago. She'd gone off to the wilds of Borneo, at the tender age of 20, to do God's work. Shem had promised, "I'll write to you, my sweetheart. I'll come and visit as soon as I've gotten my degree and worked to earn airfare."
At first the letters had been regular but had tapered off to one a month or less until she'd looked in vain for another. She'd been so busy with language learning and nursing those to whom she sincerely felt God had sent her, she'd hardly had time to write back. Yet she had felt she could rely on his promise to visit an/or to wait for her to come back on furlough.
In those first years Shem's heart had wandered elsewhere, she'd learned and he'd married someone he'd met in medical school. Her name was Josie. He'd met and married her, her Mom had written, and they'd had two little ones.
A lot can happen in five years Ruth E thought and now Shem was a widower. Josie had been killed by a drunk driver ramming into her car late one night. That was tragic indeed.
Ten years and counting, Ruth E's emotions were still a tangle. She realized seeing Shem had stirred up old feelings she had thought had been cut off yet overriding was the hurt, unforgiveness and anger. It boiled up in so many places where she had thought dealt with. Here was a new wave after wave; a veritable tsunami.
She'd read just that morning in 2 Corinthians 2 and especially verses 5-11 that speaks of forgiving especially so Satan would be outwitted. She thought she had forgiven Shem. Yet here were more waves of unforgiveness and bitter thoughts overwhelming her.
"Oh, Great-granny Blue," Ruth E exclaimed, "how do you rid yourself of bitterness and unforgiveness when you didn't even realize you still harbored them?"
"You want to tell me more about it, Ruth E? I see you are agitated and troubled." Great-granny asked.
"Well, being in God's work I feel like a hypocrite. I accidentally and literally bumped into Shem today and all those feelings of hurt, etc I'd thought relinquished, came spewing up into my mind and I'm afraid showed as fiery darts of ugly anger, as I glared at him even for those few short seconds."
"It's been so many years now, Great-granny; what am I to do?"
"For one," Great-granny Blue quietly replied, "being in God's work does not exempt us from negative thoughts and feelings; we are all still very human and can't help ourselves."
"Look always to the hills from whence comes our help" (Psalms 121:1). "Always put your hope in God" (Hosea 12:6).
"Two, my sweet Ruth E," Great-granny continued, "in my 99 years I've learned to surf those waves; meaning, every time the wave rolls towards me, I take them and confess them and repent of them as often as it takes. Recall 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins..." The "if" is dependent on the individual. We can confess, or not. However if we do, our hope is in God, "He is faithful and just and will forgive us" and it does not stop there, oh glory, God is surely an "all the way home Savior", "He will not only forgive, but adds, "and will purify us from all sin'".
"Do you want to be forgiven and purified, my Ruth E? God is ever gracious and merciful."
"You said you thought you'd dealt with all those hard, hurt feelings encapsulated in bitterness. This could well be a further chance of purification. Deeper cleansing. See this in a positive light. Our Heavenly Father is working on your behalf in this towards deepening your relationship with your Lord and Master, helping you clear out all that's not good. Think of it Ruth E. Isn't God good?!"
"Thank-you Great-granny, that helps tremendously," Ruth E sighed.
Mrs. Blue kept other thoughts to herself about this "chance encounter"; God wasn't finished with this relationship yet either she'd prophesy. She divined Ruth E still had tender feelings for Shem she'd suppressed. "Hmm...hmm," mused Mrs. Blue as her knittin' needles clacked away in staccato notes.
Part 3
After the talk with her Great-grandmother, Ruth E meandered into the forest to be alone. She was somewhat homesick for Borneo even after just two weeks of being back on her own home soil. Counter-culture shock was setting in thick and on top of that, the Shem business. She needed to try to steady herself. Being alone with just her and God would be a great idea about now.
At least she didn't have to worry too much about snakes, wild boar, scorpions or other such wild life critters in her homeland habitat. She found her old 'magical' rock in a hideaway blind of foliage and sat. As the tears of past disappointment flowed, Ruth E stumbled out her hurts, once again before God and His throne of grace.
"Oh, Father, God, it hurts so much. I didn't realize, I still cared so much. I'm sorry to grieve You but I still feel angry and bitter. I know it is wrong in Your sight. I repent but Father God, I need You. I need You to take it all away, once and for all. I no longer want the unforgiveness, anger and bitterness to fester within me. Take it, Father, I plead with You; take it all away. Purify me as you did for your servant David, ever so long ago. "Search me, O God, for you know my heart" (Psalm 139:23). Clean out all that should not be. I ask in Your Son Jesus' name."
"Thank-You, O Heavenly Father, God, for the forgiveness and the purification. I submit to You and Your will for my life. Thank-You so much for the past 10 years of service. I sense some change coming. Lord, may I ever follow You and Your will and ways for may life. Direct my footsteps along Your path. I'm Your daughter and always desire to please You with my life. May Your will ever be the way for me and may I be found faithfully running the race you've set out for me (1 Corinthians 9:24), all the way to Your Home-base! In Jesus Name I ask.
God's peace infused Ruth E's heart and mind and soul and settled as an aura about her.
Which was a good thing.
~ERC September 2017~
*1. Knittin' Poem by a real lady named Mrs. Flora Blue, age 95, in Pictou County Home in Stellarton, Nova Scotia, Canada, whom I met at the home when I was a child. Great-granny Blue's character is loosely based on this lady who has gone to glory so very long ago. Her memory lingers on here.
Words, words, words...
There are numerous verses about our words in the Bible. Words can build up, heal and bless or curse, tear down and destroy others. Do a mini, or a maxi if that helps, word study on those many verses and memorize them so they are in your mind and heart and at your finger tips.
One saying of wisdom that often swims through my mind, with good reason, is: "The least said the soonest mended". The Holy Spirit activates that maxim on a regular basis for me.
Look at some of the verses...
Proverbs 10:19 instructs,
"When words are many, sin is not absent, he who holds his tongue is wise."
How about Proverbs 12:18,
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
These can become a habit that is difficult to break. Growing up with five siblings, words were often great weapons wielded to tear a brother or sister down. It felt good to hurt one with ones' words. But God's Word often brought us up short.
The same goes for adults in a family or church or even at work. When someone gets frustrated or angry what words do we use in response?
Another verse that makes me chuckle is Proverbs 17:28 which says,
"Even a fool when he holds his peace is counted wise."
Would you like to be a wise fool?
Attempt to say fewer words to your children, siblings, brothers and sisters in Christ, &/or colleagues at work. Think more before speaking and bring healing to your little ones and loved ones. Try to figure out the necessary words of teaching, guidance, etc and not of ranting and raving; say them with God-propelled calmness and goodness.
Proverbs 14:29 enlightens,
"A patient man has great understanding but a quick-tempered man displays folly."
Patience is definitely needed. Many folks say, "Count to 10" or "Bite your tongue" before you throw your darts. Good advice, yes! The longer we can put ourselves "on hold", the more chance to moderate the words, tone, and facial expressions and any other body language such as hand gestures.
Think. To display great understanding or folly? That is the question. The individual has the choice. What type of person do you wish to be noted for? Patient or quick-tempered? Wise or foolish? Cutting-edge sword pierces or wise & healing?
Make a vow with yourself if you have to and affirm, "I will try to be more understanding and to see situations from the other person's point of view." Every little bit will help that bundle of words that spring forth to be sweet and not bitter.
Proverbs 16:24 tells us,
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Does someone of your family or among your acquaintances have creaky, achy bones? Speak sweet words to them no matter how ornery they may be. Sweet and healing are excellent adjectives that could characterize your words and reputation. Who doesn't want that? You know what to do. Attempt to be more pleasant in word and deed and attitude.
Proverbs 17:9 is another gem:
"He who covers over an offence promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."
This does not mean to hide a wrong, but those small grievances; be a bit more tolerant. Protecting someone else's character and reputation or being a busybody gossiper is another choice one has; a promoter of love or a separater of close friends. Which would you prefer to be known by?
If you are dealing with children or other immature folks try to discern what is childish behavior and not repeat nor report naughty behavior to others. Try to show more love in disregarding childish behavior. It may be irritating and frustrating but patience and love and sweet words may help immensely in building that loved one up.
As Proverbs 19:11 wonderfully expostulates,
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offence."
Again, we have an advocate with our heavenly Father, God. Talk to Him and avoid taking offence so easily. Ask the Lord for wisdom and by so doing gain patience in dealing with your little ones and others. Overlook behavior that is not disobedient, disrespective, destructive or dishonest; these need addressing. But the 'how' of so doing is included in the prayer for wisdom, patience, understanding and words of kind effect.
Proverbs 29:20 cautions,
"Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him."
These are all fabulous morsels of Godly wisdom that give corrective guidance to one and all. May we all bless one and all with our well chosen daily bundle of words.
~ERC 2017~
Originally written 1996; adapted for blog August 2017
It's a balmy and sunny day, excellent chance for another "beach combing" saunter through the Gospels to espy some more exquisite "seashells" among Jesus's words and conversations with the diverse folks He met along the way.
To the blind man that Jesus had healed and who had gotten thrown out of the synagogue by the religious leaders of the day, Jesus found him afterwards and asked,
"Do you believe in the Son of Man?" (John 9:35)
Humbly, almost desperately, the man asked who that was and when Jesus told him that He was the One, he says,
"Lord, I believe" and then he worshiped Him." (John 9:38)
What deep gratitude and appreciation.
By contrast the Jews were about to stone Jesus and He asks them for which miracle they wished to stone Him and why they accused Him of blasphemy because He had said,
"I am God's Son" (John 10:32, 34-36).
They either did not recognize Who He was, or did not wish to acknowledge it.
What life, Jesus could give. Even Mary and Martha could not comprehend the immediacy of Jesus telling them, in regards to the resurrection of their brother Lazarus,
"I am the resurrection and the life." (John 11:25).
Imagine their shock that erupts into overwhelming joy, when they approach the tomb where Lazarus had been laid and calls to him,
"Lazarus, come forth!" (John 11:43).
And Lazarus comes forth.
Do you feel the goosebumps on your arms? Oh the divine power of Jesus' words!!
This is Jesus, Emmanuel: God with us!!
And Jesus asks Philip,
"Don't you know Me?!" (John 14:9-10)
Do you know Him? We could never fully know Him, but we can spend our lifetime learning and learning to know and love Him, to serve and worship Him. As we read and meditate upon His Word and build our relationship with Him, we will scratch the surface and know Him some. We can have as much or as little as we wish. He waits for us.
And then the soldiers and the officials from the chief priests and Pharisees come stromping along like a herd of elephants into the quiet of the garden where Jesus was with His disciples. Jesus knew they were coming for Him, yet still asks,
"Who is it you want?"
If it wasn't so serious a setting, it could almost be amusing.
The troop says,
"Jesus of Nazareth"
Jesus answers,
"I am He"
And they fall back and to the ground. (John 18:1-9).
After Jesus arrest, the High Priest questions Him but Jesus tells him to ask those who had been His audiences: the common, everyday people. They will know what He has said. (John 18:21, 23). Jesus's life spoke for itself; was good testimony.
How are we living our lives? Will they speak to good or to bad reputation? What have we done/what are we doing with our lives? Are they worthwhile? Jesus'ministry was about three years worth culminating at the cross and beyond. We do not know how long we have to live; live your days in a worthwhile manner to please and honor and glorify Him. Finish well.
And then that lull when Jesus was in the tomb then resurrected and the disciples were kind of at a loss as to what to do. They'd ended up going back to their boats and fishing nets. Jesus shows up on the shore cooking a breakfast of fish for them. Good thing they didn't have weak hearts. He seemed to show up when people least expected it and in unusual manner.
Jesus connects with Peter's heart here. Peter had denied, three times, that he knew who Jesus was at the time of Jesus trial pre-crucifixion. Peter had been scared. But then Jesus looked at him. Peter's heart did break and he went out and wept bitterly at what he had done. So Peter's heart needed mending. I feel like weeping here too.
We often fail. We often break Jesus's heart. Yet Jesus seeks us out to reinstate the repentant heart of us. He knows we are but human and fail. Yet He also seeks commitment. He asked Peter,
"Do you truly love me more than these?" (John 21:15).
Jesus asks him three times and Peter breaks down,
"Yes, Lord, you know I do." (John 21:17)
Isn't Jesus so gracious? I know I can count on Him again and again.
So can you.
"The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen could ever tell",
so goes a song. Here's the Bill & Gloria Gaither version of singing it.
As we can see through this series of Jesus Speaks Some More that Jesus did not waste words. He spoke to a person's heart leading them to healing conclusions; rooting out evil, hypocrisies; gently tender, compassionate drawing the 'sinner' out and to Himself; teaching and setting examples for His disciples to follow; restoring (Peter) and showing them how to love one another (foot washing-John 13:1-17). Isn't He wonderful!?
What does all this have to do with hospitality? I guess we have to be discovering and sensitive to others' needs. Jesus could say things very directly especially to hypocrites (Pharisees, etc) but because of our human-ness we really need to depend on the Spirit of God to teach us what to say, and do, and to pray for wisdom in relating to others. The objective is to help to bring healing and maturity and to edify one another with Christ's words.
I hope you have enjoyed this 'beach combing' and will take a stroll through the Gospels yourself to uncover gem shells of your own. God's blessings be upon you now and forevermore.
~ERC 2017~
Originally written May 1996; adapted for blog August 2017
A
s we continue our 'beach combing' stroll through the Gospels, some more interesting 'shells' turn up.
I love how Jesus pursues people...Here's a sampling:
From John 2:4...
To His mother at the wedding in Cana of Galilee...
"Dear woman, why do you involve me?...My time has not yet come."
From John 3:10 & 12 to Nicodemus...
"You are Israel's teacher,...and do you not understand these things?"
"I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak heavenly things?"
From John 4:7 to the Samaritan woman who came to draw water from the well...
"Will you give me a drink?"
From John 5:6, to the invalid by the pool waiting for the waters to be stirred...
"Do you want to get well?"
Of course, he did, but...
From John 5:44 to the Jews persecuting Him...
"How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?"
From John 8:43 to the Jews...
"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say."
Again from John 8 and verse 46, also to the Jews...
"Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me?"
As you can see from this sampling, Jesus asked a lot of questions. Jesus had no fear of man and could meet them head on with thought provoking questions that would lead His hearers on to the truth if they would only admit it. These questions would help allow them to think things through with their God-given intelligence, and come to logical conclusions, that yes, Jesus is God's Son. Yes, He is the One spoken of in the Old Testament that they had.
You almost want to help these people; come on, "get it"; this is Jesus the one that should come from God. Yet we too are often unbelieving and "untrusting". May we all in faith, trust in Jesus with our life: mind, heart, soul and spirit.
~ERC 2017~
Originally written May 1996; adapted for blog August 2017
As our "beach combing" through the Gospels continues, I've discovered another interesting "shell"...
The chief priests and teachers of the law had been questioning Jesus as to, upon whose authority He taught and preached and healed people, etc. Jesus answered their question with a question. If they could, or would, answer, then they would also have their answer to their question.
He asked,
"I will ask you one question. Answer Me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing those things. John's baptism-was it from heaven, or from men? Tell me!" (Mark 11:29, 30)
That put them all in a tailspin, then didn't it. What fluster!
Perhaps at times, our work for Jesus may be questioned. And, yeah, we should exam ourselves to see if the accusations and questioning is legitimate. If there is nothing to it, then keep on, if there is something to it, then address it. However we too can count on His authority as, as Christians, we are His children and we have so many blessings in Christ (Ephesians 1), and our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit enables us to work for Jesus in a Christlike manner under His authority.
As Jesus did His work of doing good to all mankind under the authority of His Father, God, His work spoke for itself. For us, by our fruit, others will know us and our true authority: are we working for ourselves or for the glory and honor of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior?
~ERC 2017~
Originally written March 1996; adapted August 2017
