Misunderstandings - Counsel Chap 7

 Misunderstandings can wreck a relation - ship faster than a vessel hitting an iceburg.  A word or words misspoken and those could be the last words you'll ever hear for years on end from said person.

As opposed to,

" A word fitly spoken [being] like apples of gold in settings of silver"                   (Proverbs 25:11 ESV).

There's a valley in Nova Scotia (NS), Canada in which apples grow abundantly.  They are beautiful as their trees blossom, and beautiful as the fruit ripens.  The apples are wondrous to crunch into too - juicey and sweet.

"Apples of gold" would be a bit difficult to sink your teeth into but the simile is parallel and akin to those NS apples.  I think anyone can get this picture - no room for misunderstanding. Aha.

Given the character of our human nature, misunderstanding others is a given.  People often have pre-conceived ideas, sterotyping, ones' childhood evnvironment, upbringing and teachings based on parents' misinformation or lack of proper guidance and so on and so forth of a vicious circle of misunderstandings compounded and recycled.

For example, one man told me, "You're not at all what I thought you would be!"  I took it as a weird sort of compliment but was never exactly quite sure of his meaning.  He had originally pinned me with a stereotyping based on my skin color that was the 'odd one out' in his country.  I supposed he'd encountered people of my tone and expected me to be 'just like them'.

My Dad told my siblings and I on more than one occasion, that when a couple gets married, six people are actually getting married.  First there's who each one believes they are in themselves.  That makes two people.  Next is what each one thinks the other is; usually the rosy-colored tinted variety.  That makes two more.  Lastly, the person each one actually is.  That's another two making the total six.

With all this there is bound to be misunderstanding upon misunderstanding.  And then they meet the in-laws!  Relationships zipping and zapping in all directions with all those pre-conceived notions.  Guess how that gets sorted out?  You could likely write a book about it.

So I believe that most relationship problems stem from this and the sin of selfishness of believing you are someone you are not.  This is why we NEED the Lord and His intervention.  

Seek the Lord to find out who you really are.  The revelations may stun you but our Lord is gracious and in the healing business.  Seek His forgiveness with your repentance.

When we figure this out in on-going process then we can help others discover these things for themselves.  Often as we help that friend in need come to terms with their problems we can mention these things, as we seek to be good listeners with greater empathy.

For marriages and family relationships and relationships in general, with neighbors, colleagues, church members, friends and the like, these are true.

It has been really helpful for me to read Harold J. Sala's words in his book Counseling Friends in Need.  He wrote,

"... one of the goals of counseling is to help your friend see himself or herself as he or she really is.  Another goal is to help your friend see the situation from a mate's point of view (or the viewpoint of the person with whom there is conflict).  A third goal, and most important of all, is for your friend to see the issue from God's perspective, which then give the motivation necessary to initiate changes that will result in forgiveness and the restoration of broken relationships."

Sala continues,

"Clear communication is vital for resolving broken relationships.  Every time a person makes a statement there are three components:

What you said (the face valueof the statement)

What you meant to say (which may not be what you actually said)

What you implied (which you may not have actually said at all)."

Does this make sense to you?  It explains a lot to me.

Think of the scenario of giving a friend a lovely, fragrant bar of soap.  They take offense because they thought you were indirectly telling them you think they are stinky and need a shower.  Actually, you just wanted to share the wonderful smell because you yourself love it.

See how things can get distorted?  You've probably experienced this type of scenario before yourself and been at both ends of the scale at one time or another.

Take a minute to reread that quotation above and ponder it.  The various combinations can create communication break down, whether it's statements spoken or unspoken ... thus misunderstanding occurs.

We need to slow down and consider what people are actually saying to us.  Also, what we say to others - how will they perceive it?  Being careful with our words is essential but doesn't always rule out how the hearer will react or respond.  But it hopefully will help. 

May our words be 'apples of gold,' fitly spoken.  May our Jehovah Rapha bring healing to all our relationsips.  He is the one who heals (see Exodus 15:26).

                                                ~ERC  February 2025 ~

Based on Proverbs 25:11 ESV and Counseling Friends in Need by Harold J. Sala.

Note:  Quote taken from Chapter 7 - Using the Bible to Counsel Relationship Problems, pages 135-136.

Sing:  Wonderful Words of Life, along with Joslin Grove Choral.

Our Friend Jesus Doesn't Fail

 

The alarm goes off, and we slap at it to turn it off. We moan, groan, and stir in our beds.  Perhaps we sit up and stretch before sleep-staggering to the bathroom for morning abultions.  So far, we haven't failed at anything on this new day. ...

But then we remember that yesterday someone offended us and we suddenly feel mad all over again.  We think of things we'd like to do or say to get back.  Ugh-oh, we failed and so early on this new day.

There are 101 ways we can fail.  Thankfully, there is One who never fails, and that is our Almighty God and Our Friend Jesus.

"The LORD ... every new day He does not fail ..." Zephaniah 3:5 (NIV).

I like that every new day He does not fail.  He is a friend we can rely on, every day and all day long.  Praise the Lord!

Our Friend Jesus Who doesn't fail is the One inWhom we can put our trust.  Will you trust Him?

Jesus, Savior, Friend thank You for Your steadfastness and that You never fail.  We can count on You.  Amen.

                                              ~ ERC  February 2025 ~

Based on Zephaniah 3:5 NIV.

Sing, Jesus Never Fails, along with Gary Driskell.

Book Review - The Pick-Pocket's Return - by Lindsay Hutchinson - Publication Date 12 March 2025

 

This is a light-hearted, entertaining tale of historical fiction.  It goes back to the time in the 1800's when Britain still sent her convicts to Australia.  It touches on the lives of some of them, one of whom is BJ, whom a reader can meet in preceding books.  All is not sunshine as there are interludes of sadness and tragedy - true to life.

I liked the camaraderie among the convicts-cum-ranch hands on Mac's ranch where BJ, Colin, James, John, George and others worked out their sentences.  Meanwhile back in Black County, England, Alice, BJ's friend, is doing well for herself.  She too has developed great friendships with Doris and her girls.  She awaits BJ's return.

There was some rough language which I take issue too.  There are vague references to God and praying, which redeems the narrative a titch in my mind.  

Although this third book can be read as a stand alone story, I sense it would be more fun and lend to  better connection after having read the earlier books.

As they say, "all's well that end's well," as I found this narrative to do.  It was nice to have that "happily-ever-after" feel to close the saga.  I finished with regret that it had ended but finished with a satisfied smile in my mind and on my face.

                                            ~ Eunice C.,  Reviewer/Blogger ~

                                                         March 2025

Disclaimer:  This is my honest opinion based on the complimentary review copy I received from Net Galley and the publisher.

Read review on Goodreads.

Friend Jesus' Grace

Our friend Jesus, who always  loves us no matter what, and who will never leave us nor forsake us, is also a just friend.  We still need to be accountable to Him for our sins.  He is a forgiving friend when we have repentance.  It is 'complete forgiveness'.  Then we can have a fresh start, by His mercy and grace.

Think of the woman who was caught in adultery.  She was brought to Jesus by self-righteous accusers. (One wonders where the man was.  He was equally quilty.)

Jesus told those accusers to cast a stone if they themselves were without sin.  No one threw a stone at the woman.  Instead, they went shamefully away.

Imagine how that woman must have felt then.  There was one man left.  Jesus was actually the only one to have been able to throw a stone.  But He didn't.  He didn't condemn her but exhorted,

"Go now and leave your life of sin" (John 8:11 NIV).

This friend Jesus gave her a new way to live.  As Katara Patton put it in Our Daily Bread 2023, 

"Christ gave her the solution to forgive her sin and [live] a new way [over] her past ..."

I believe our friend Jesus offers the same to us, His children, today.  If Jesus does this for us and we are to be 'like Jesus', we need to learn to treat others who've sinned, with similar grace and mercy, offering them a "fresh start".

Easier said than done, but by His grace, we can.  Let's keep this story in mind as we go and sin no more.

                                            ~ERC  February 2025 ~

Based on John 8:1-11 and Our Daily Bread 2023 - Sept/Oct/Nov - 31 Sept by Katara Patton.

Sing, I See Grace, along with Devoted Gospel, New Creation Church.

Humbly Serving

 When we desire to do great things for Jesus, we need to be sure it's for the right reasons.  When we desire for the Lord to do whatever we ask, we also need to be sure the request is for the right reasons.  It may be a good ambition but if we are motivated to achieve a position of power, gain applause and the like, our desire is misplaced.  James and John once asked Jesus,

"Grant us to sit, one on your right hand and one at your left, in glory"                      (Mark 10:37 ESV).

Sounds good.  We want to be close to Jesus, to be by His side or sit at His feet, don't we?  Jesus told them that those positions were not His to give.  They needed to be servants.

A servant's position is a more humble place, more at the feet.  As a servant goes about his or her duties, they are more in the background, behind the scenes, getting things done.

No doubt they do hope for the "well done" praise but it may not be forthcoming.  They may be more likely to be complained about and criticized and told to do more things and to do them better.  A tough road to travel.

We need to check and examine our motivations for serving the Lord.  Are we selfishly seeking some position of power, taking glory that belongs to the Lord?  Or are we sincerely and humbly serving Him and making our requests according to His will?

May our Lord's will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Tom Felten wrote in Our Daily Bread 2023 words that would be a great rudder to help steer us aright if we lived by them.  He said,

"As we aim to do good and great things for Christ, may we seek His wisdom and direction - humbly serving others as He did so well" (see Mark 10:45).

May all glory be to God.

                                               ~ ERC  February 2025 ~

Based on Mark 10:35 (ESV) and Our Daily Bread 2023 - Sept/Oct/Nov - 20 Sept by Tom Felten.

Sing, Speak, O Lord, along with Keith and Kristyn Getty.

All Commended

 

"These were all commended for their faith ..." (Hebrews 11:39).

Not just one here or there of the 'better' ones but all were commended.  No matter how big or small, or degrees of being known, our heavenly Father saw it all and commended them but for what?  For their faith ...

That's the key, isn't it!  'Faith'.  All of the ones listed in this chapter 11 of Hebrews had faith to trust in God that He would indeed do as promised.  Yet so many of them did not see much, if any, of them fulfilled or fully fulfilled in their life time.

In the focus verses, some of the lesser known Bible characters are named, and many left unnamed.  Yet it was their faith they were all commended for.  It sort of tears my heart to read the last part of verse 39, which reads, 

" ... yet none of them received what had been promised ..."

How unfair it seems to us.  Hopes dashed?  How could God do this to them!  But we don't read of those folks complaining or losing their faith!  They must have held on to the end, otherwise I believe they would not have been commended for their faith.  

This tells me they must have clung tightly to their faith and trust in God and what He promised them.  They held it closely to their chest because they knew God.

Verse 40 gives God's perspective and mends the torn heart.  We see

"God had planned something better ..."

Together, us and them, 

"would be made complete."

We don't always see God's plan and purpose in complete ways but to be sure, He does keep His promises.  This reminds me of what my Mom would sometimes say to us kids,

"Fools and bairns see unfinished work"

Similarly we need to be patient with God and wait to see what He is doing.

All those people of faith didn't sit on their laurels while waiting for God to keep His promises.  There were actions that showed their faith.  Read the portion and check it out.

Simple things we do as followers of Jesus will shew our faith too.  God knows what's in our heart.  People will know by the works of our hands, even if we don't broadcast it.  The people who have benefited from our quiet actions will know and God will know.  All our pure actions of faith given in Jesus' name will all be commended by our Heavenly Father who sees and knows.  It will look like a wonderful display of colorful fruit and vegetables overflowing from a cornucopia, pleasant to the eyes and wholesome to the body.

Heavenly Father, thank You for all Your promises to us, Your children.  We hope and trust in You.  Help us to have the faith like those we read about in Hebrews 11 - strong to the end.  Also strong to do the good deeds You prepared for us to do.  How great Thou art!  Come Lord Jesus.  In Jesus name we ask, Amen.

                                                ~ERC  February 2025  ~

Based on Hebrews 11:32-40 especially vs 39 NIV and Our Daily Bread 2023 - Sept/Oct/Nov - 19 Sept - by Leslie Koh.

Sing, I Have Decided to Follow Jesus, along with Lydia Walker.

Garments of Glory and Beauty

Chinese New Year (CNY) has the celebrants scurrying around preparing festive food and family from out of town booking tickets to 'go home' for reunions with their loved ones.  Boutiques and clothing stores do roaring business as the people shop for new outfits.  

The color 'red' features auspiciously for those garments.  Although, depending on the year, there could be other particular colors of choice.  Last year was lime green, this year gold or purple.  However, 'red' never goes out of CNY fashion.

Dressed in such finery, family and friends feast together at home and in restaurants for reunion dinners and dim sum brunches.  Food, fun, family and finery create joyful times and good memories for most.

It is like another time, in very ancient history.  The garments of Aaron, the Israelites' high priest, had very special garments of his position.  God told Moses to ...

" ... make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty ..." (Exodus 28:2 ESV).

Skillful craftsmen were to make them.  If you read the full description in verses 1-8, you will get a sense of the awesomeness of what this holy garment must have been like to see.  The sons of Aaron the high priest, also had their special priestly robes but the one the high priest wore had so much more detail, adornment and meaning.  When all was ready, there was an assembly of Israelites gathered for 'opening ceremony' consecration and donning of these garments.

Spiritually, our Lord would like all the followers of Jesus to be clothed in,

"compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12 NIV).

These are our special adornment to don.  After all, we are of a royal priesthood (see 1 Peter 2:9 ESV).  We have been set apart, consecrated for our God.  Let it be for God's glory and beauty, portrayed through us, His children, as we go about our daily Christian lives in whichever capacity we find ourselves.

For me, I think I especially need to be clothed with more gentleness and patience.  May the Holy Spirit help me with this as I become more like Jesus our Great High Priest.  Amen.

What about you?  With which garments will you adorn yourself?  

All glory be to God.

                                                      ~ ERC  February 2025 ~

Based on Exodus 28:1-8; 40-41 especially vs 2 (ESV); Colossians 3:12 NIV and Our Daily Bread Sept/Oct/Nov 2023 - 18 Sept - by Kirsten Holmberg.

Sing, Gentle and Lowly, along with Saddleback Worship.