If you've ever watched C-Dramas you'll be very familiar with harsh words being spoken. Harsh, verbal abusive words are spewed like deluges of torrential 'rains' upon the poor protagonist victim, often a female family member. Sometimes, it is continued by co-workers in an office setting.
It may be good to view one or two of these dramas so we can get a good idea of what a barrage of harsh words sounds like and the effects it has upon the victim. Get a feel for it.
Upon reflection and introspection of ourself, see if we might be a perpetrator of such harmful and harsh words. Maybe we have been a recipient of such words growing up and think this pattern is 'normal' and 'needful' to carry on the contemptible legacy and to attain good character results in our 'victims'. But, how did it feel to you at the time? NOT good, I'd think. So let's stop and consider this and train ourselves as children of God, to find the antidotal antonym of 'harsh'.
Proverbs 15:1 uses the word 'soft' (ESV) and in the NIV, 'gentle'.
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Synonyms of 'soft' and 'gentle' in this context are: kind, kindly, tender, humane, merciful, and more. Slowly but hopefully, surely, we can have a 'tongue fast,' as Deborah Smith Pegues calls it in her book 30 Days To Taming YOUR Tongue, from the harsh words we curse others with, breaking the habit and mindset to replacing them and using healthy words, tones, and gestures; thus building a habit of using all those 'gentle' synonyms within us and then using them to build others up. Try it. See the more positive results. Be encouraged.
We will need to be repentant and confess the wrong of the harsh words and attitudes. Our Heavenly Father is merciful and gracious, and forgiving. Let His way characterize us, His children.
When there are times we need to correct, reprove or exhort our own children, or others elsewhere in our work or church related roles, choose to speak words of life, using the 'soft' answer.
Pegues uses the term "the law of kindness" from Proverbs 31:26 NKJV where the noble woman of worth makes it her law. Let us be men and women who use this law, following it on a regular basis.
As the Proverbs 15:1 verse states, "harsh words stir up anger." Eventually, there will be anger and resentment. This turns to bitterness in the soul. Forthwith, comes revenge and other cunning words and works of retaliation.
We need to ask ourselves which portrait legacy we wish to pass on to a future generation or to charactherize our present workplace and church setting. To continue the perpetration or to cut it off and build anew to portray God's way through Jesus and the Holy Spirit's work within us towards producing abundant fruit of the Spirit. It's a choice, which do you choose?
Do we want to look like a North American November tree, denuded of its leaves, bleak and dreary and gray? Or, do we wish to be like April and May tress with budding and blooming apple blossoms delighting the eyes and scenting the air with their sweet, floral fragrance? The choice is yours...
Lord, help us all, forgive us our tresspasses against others of the harsh words we speak and have spoken aplenty. Cloak us with your mercy and grace so we can speak anew with refreshing gentle words that will build others up and improve our relationships.
Heal the hurts we've perpetrated upon our children, our co-workers, our fellow church members, our neighbors and all others we meet and have met. Give us the courage to apologize to those we've hurt, at least the ones we know of and can remember having hurt. Help us to put the law of kindness into effect and install as our daily modus operandi. We ask in Jesus' name, amen.
~ ERC May 2025 ~
Based on Proverbs 15:1 and Deborah smith Pegues' book 30 Days to Taming YOUR Tongue - Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue.
Sing, Victory In His Name, along with The Sowers. This may be a bit wild for some but please see the lyrics and understand the sentiments. When the Lord is with us we can have victory in His name to overcome even the worst of our habits. May the Lord enable and empower you. Let Him be the King who governs your life and not your habit that inhibits you.
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