Showing unconditional love and acceptance is a very important part in counseling your friend in need. Without this essential element, the lay counselor will be wasting their friend's time as well as their own time and breath. This does not mean acceptance of wrong behavior, rather of the person his or herself. One must see this crucial distinction.
Empathetic listening, giving support and encouragement towards repentance, and recovery of any type of addictive behavior will be a major part of the battle towards being real help for your friend in need.
Once the friend has established in their mind and heart that you truly sincerely care, they too are more apt to feel they are understood and can then make moves, no matter how infinitesimal at start. Be sure, counselors, to show your acceptance unconditionally to your friend.
Most people generally accept that alcohol and drugs can be addictive and that most likely your friend will need professional help beyond what you as a lay counselor can give. Make no mistake, however, that you are a key link in the 'recovery chain' and that you will very likely need to be standing by, along side for the duration.
Not everyone will realize that promiscuity, marital infidelity and homosexuality are also considered addictive behaviors. This is what Harold J. Sala states in his book Counseling Friends in Need. These too, can be obsessive, compulsive behaviors in a believer's life. No doubt they will realize it's wrong and feel guilty but also feel that they can't overcome. Showing unconditional acceptance could well be the tipping point when the addict-ee, indicates his or her behavior to you or you have found out somehow or another and have lovingly confronted your friend who also happens to be your brother or sister-in-Christ.
Addictive behavior, and what the Bible calls idolatry is connected, I believe. It is like worshiping at the feet of the behavior and making it your 'god'. It takes all your time and attention and destroys the individual indulging in the wrongful, harmful behavior.
When the person turns to the Lord in confession and repentance, seeking help, it is like they are turning to God from idols. Being that friend-in-need in the right place and at the right time, and with the right attitude of unconditional acceptance, will most likely enable your friend in need to begin and continue to make God their God, and to seek Him in the recovery process towards overcoming victory.
Let's each of us followers of Jesus Christ be sensitive to our friends' needs, not to find fault but with loving care, reaching out with the empathetic, unconditional acceptance that will lead to your friend's decision to get help and progress towards recovery.
Wrap all efforts in prayer. Let's abide in Christ, always.
Jesus, help us all. Whether we are the person who needs unconditional acceptance or the one who can give it, walk with us, Jesus. Be our guiding light through our darkest nights. I ask in Your name, amen.
~ ERC March 2025 ~
Based on 1 Corinthians 3:16 & 17; Romans 12:1-2 and John 15:4-5 ESV. Also, Counseling Friends in Need by Harold J. Sala, Chapter 9 - Using the Bible to Counsel Addictive Behavior Questions. This is my answer above page 200.
Sing, Overcomer, along with Mandisa.
No comments:
Post a Comment